Wednesday, September 22, 2004
at 7:30 PM

I'm stupid.
I'm not clever. Plain stupid.

I don't understand why some people don't appreciate what i do.
I don't understand why i can lend money to someone and have an uneasy time getting it back.
I don't understand why some people who i have nothing to do with can have have a problem with me.
I don't understand why some people are so unfair, so biased to me.
I don't understand why some people can't even thank me for what i have done for them.
I don't understand why some people do not care about me and ignore me.
I don't understand why some people likes to play with my feelings which hurts me.
I don't understand why these people dislike me.
I don't understand why some people, instead of helping me out, push me deeper into the abyss.
I don't understand why i'm always the innocent one among a group of people.
I don't understand why my jokes always appear unappealing to people.
I don't understand why i offend the closest people to me so easily.
I don't understand why i'm so anti-socialable.
I don't understand why my words always hurts when i'm trying to help.
I don't understand why i must have a broken family.
I don't understand why i have such an unhappy childhood.
I don't understand why some people think that i'm extra and not needed at all.
I don't understand why i have not passed LCP during the first test.
I don't understand why i always get lousy grades for my tests.
I don't understand why i can never be a humanitarian like some of the people around me.

I don't understand a lot of things. Maybe i'm selfish, i'm wrong. Maybe it's only because i'm abnormal when i was born. Maybe i'm just unlucky at times......... But i won't give up. I will find the answers to the questions some day.