Thursday, April 05, 2007
at 11:36 PM

this week had been quite fulfilling! but of cos it has its ups and downs. thats life, rite?

on tuesday we had the Council General Elections. the QnA session was quite boring, but i didnt fell asleep cos i had diarrheoa that day =/ anyway congrats to daryl and dayong for getting in!! haha daryl is ok but dayong was kinda unexpected... lolz.. and adriel! congrats as well! now i got chance be boys vice cap le (:

yesterday there was this interact general meeting after sch. it lasted 20 minutes or so? the seniors went thru 2 powerpoints and briefly introduced to us the exco. but i guess i'm not running for interact exco anymore. cos all the positions seem super busy. unless you hav steady hands, its not that easy. beside, you'll need to run for exco positions! which means pple will hav to vote you in? not so sure abt that though..

rushed down to occ for training after the meeting. did rather well ytd, played a game but halfway thru they closed the lanes ): and yes, the coaches were busy selecting the team for nationals last week. it was rather stressful! half of me wants to be selected, half of me tells me i better not. its good to be selected becos it will be the time when you put your hard work and effort to good use! but if not selected you'll save quite abit of time, energy and money since you wont need to train as hard. besides, i'm pretty much afraid that i'll pull the team down if i get into the team.

today's commserve was cancelled, so i went down to tanah merah nsrcc to buy my trolley bag instead. haha too bad they dun hav green, so i picked blue instead.

saturday is the day when we'll get to noe if we manage to get into the team.. if i'm not wrong they will select 4 top j1 guy bowlers. i'm ranked after adriel, jansen, donald and i think i'm on par with yinghao? so its hard to say. but i guess i'll be happy if i get into the team or not. cos i think it works both ways for me.

heard that there's interact clubserve outing this saturday! we're going steamboating.. yes, 100+ of us. rather insane rite? but up till now my i-grp leader had yet to inform me of any outing. he's super inefficient! x_x

ok the long weekend's here! supposed to be glad but i'm feeling rather bad all over again.. cos firstly, the class bowling outing tmr is cancelled cos lots of pple cant make it on this Good Friday. secondly, i dunno if its really with me but apparently someone whom i've been helping him alot is giving me problems now. from wad i noe i didnt do anything that displeases him. so i definitely dun see the need for him to just ignore me and walk off. i think i've certainly put in alot of effort helping him with his council stuff, even to the extent of staying up till 2.30am on the morning of a chem test, which apparently was taken with less priority than his council video. but hell no, not even a proper word of thanks to me. and now he's ignoring me? buzz off man.
*NOTE: pls dun make false assumptions of who this person is

ok enough of ranting. this is just how the world goes. there are benefactors, and there is bound to be backstabbers too. betrayers.

third thing to trouble about is my family again. dad and mum have almost patched up but the feeling is very much different. after all, if you shatter a glass, its hard to fit the pieces back together, let alone to glue them back into one. even if they're glued together, the cracks will always be there. now sub the glass with a family, and you'll get wad i mean. there is always this psychological barrier when they talk to each other, and even when my father talks to me or my bro. things are just not the same becos we've all seen how immature and unreasonable my father can be. he used to be a good dad, i believe he still is now but somehow i can never love him as my dad like i did before. i used to await his return to singapore while he's working in china. now i'm dreading every bit of it. the feeling just comes naturally. when he returns home, on the outside i smile, but inside its all for show. its all part of my efforts in making him feel welcomed. i understand becos when i stand in his shoes, i wont want to come back to a family who treats me like crap. but worst of all, it seems like my dad wont admit to his wrongdoings. that is wad really puts my mum off. its like a vicious cycle; my mum dislikes my dad + my dad refuse to confess => more quarrelling => higher intensity of distrust => more quarrels. so it gets worse and worse. sometimes it even sets me thinking of the past, 10 years ago when all was good and peaceful. i was only 7 and my bro only 10. my dad had a decent job, my mum was in the best of health.. and now, times have changed and so had the situation. even recently my dad just lost his job in china. and the stupid manager in popular bookstore rejected my mum's application for a part time job. rejection is okay but not when you had promised someone earlier on.

alright alright i think i've been too emo. dad's coming back on monday. i hope peace will be at its current state at home. =/

and i realise i've been telling too many ppl abt my infatuation on this gal. i shall keep my mouth shut from now onwards, before history repeats itself.

alright its the end of this emo post.